"You can only tell how long a war will last when it ends."



"Old age? The sixties are thrilling, the seventies fulfilling,
the eighties chilling, and the nineties killing. After a
hundred it’s all bird watching."



"Save a dollar today and you'll have fifty cents tomorrow."



"Better to have a fat can than a fat head."



"Nothing will prove better than the work of art itself
whether it is one."



"Philosophers, the interpreters of life, whose definition
forever escapes them."



"Four year old Mildred’s best friend was her doctor,
also four years old."



"People who use free will a lot usually pay for it."



"If the worm turns, go fishing."



"You can't empty a waste basket once and for all."



"If you want a taxi in San Francisco, buy one."



"The best things in life are free but no longer available."



"Alice B. Toklas drank one stein too many."



"Marriages are made in heaven. What the hell."



"All birds don't fly south in winter. See my windshield."